“Am I the problem?" By Charlotte Bell

“Charlotte (C) is insufferably lesbian, never ever shutting up about her lesbianism or her girlfriend. With big feelings and tendencies to collect every pretty flyer she sees, “chaos journaling,” an offshoot of the category of junk journaling, allows C to express her feelings without overanalysing them or spiralling, and compile all her gay little mementos in one place, rather than taking up an entire drawer."

“Am I the problem” is a culmination of some very low lows and some fond memories. The background of the page is a result of my chaos journaling at a time when I felt very low, upset and disappointed in myself and generally my inability to be normal, or good enough, in society’s eyes (read: felt far too high maintenance and “snowflakey” for being upset about the state of the government and LGBTQIA+ rights, upset by the fact that even if I wanted to go back to my more acceptable comphet self, I’m now at a point where I couldn’t bring myself to). By the time I had finished writing, I had accepted that I was the problem, and that is okay. I fucking LOVE being a chubby gross dyke in the eyes of society and that’s how I’ve made my best memories!! I’ve collected bits and bobs from my gay friends' art degree and fashion degree shows, stickers from my fave queers, sweet wrappers from my lovely and accepting parents, and stuck them onto this page because if me “being the problem” is me living my life as I am now, then I will gladly be the problem over and over again.